Potato Fondant (1912)

 Candy-Making Revolutionized: Confectionary Revolutionized (1912) by Mary Elizabeth Hall 

Vegetable candy, to my mind, is ideal confectionery. Of its purity, there can be no doubt. Moreover, it furnishes the valuable element of sugar so combined with nutritious vegetable bases that, because of the bulk, there is no temptation to overeat. This quality of the new confection would seem insurance against the evil effects of gluttony! Before an undue amount of sugar is consumed, the very mass of the vegetable base has satisfied the appetite.

 

Cooked Potato Fondant.—With one-half cupful of potato, prepared as for the uncooked fondant, very thoroughly mix two cupsful of sugar and thin with two-thirds of a cupful of milk. Place the mixture on an asbestos mat over the fire and cook until thick—to the sticking point. Pour the mass on a cold, damp marble and "cut in" like plain fondant. Knead small quantities at a time until the whole batch is smooth. Pack in tins lined with wax paper. The fondant can be used without additional sugar and does not stick to the hands. It is particularly useful as a covering.  […] Potato fondant shows particular superiority over the almond paste in the making of small objects and all fine and thin work.

Let me say first: I think this is the most mess I have ever made with the least number of ingredients.  Take a deep breath, and let’s dive into what happened here.  

    I put the potatoes through a potato ricer, in lieu of the fine sieve instructed.  This was the last enjoyable part of this process, because it was after this that things began to go wrong  

Having decided that “thick” and “to the sticking point” probably meant soft ball, upon consultation with other more normal fondant recipes, I foolishly chose a pot that I soon realized was comically small when it started to foam  

It’s fine, I have a nice heavy bottomed pot!  That will do to replace the ASBESTOS mat intended to regulate the heat. Wait why is it brown 

OH NO.  

Procrastinate until fondant has cooled too much. Use hands to smoosh handfuls of earwax-substitute into the mixer. 

Whip until the mixer makes angry sounds and it smells like overheated machinery. Perfect. Just like it said, it doesn’t adhere to the fingers at all  

Verdict: *weeping*. My kitchen is full of sticky things. Some of the sticky things include me and my children. And the floor. I have a pan with sugar cement in the bottom, and the fondant in the mixer bowl has also, weirdly, hardened into concrete. Pray that hot water and time will solve these problems, or CALAMITY.