Sweetmeats of My Lady Windebanks

Ah, finally the payoff from this post! What has our friend Sir Kenelm Digby, Knight served up for us this time?

Sweetmeats of My Lady Windebanks
She maketh the past of Apricocks (which is both very beautiful and clear, and tasteth most quick of the fruit) thus, Take six pound of pared and sliced Apricocks, put them into a high pot, which stop close, and set it in a kettle of boiling water, till you perceive the flesh is all become an uniform pulp; then put it out into your preserving pan or possenet, and boil it gently till it be grown thick, stirring it carefully all the while. Then put two pound of pure Sugar to it, and mingle it well, and let it boil gently, till you see the matter come to such a thickness and solidity, that it will not stick to a plate. Then make it up into what form you will. The like you may do with Raspes or Currants.

Method and Verdict:

"Apricocks" here means "apricots." Since peeling apricots is for suckers, I instead scored the skin, dropped them in boiling water for a little bit, then shocked them in cold water, much as one does tomatoes. Then I put them in a double boiler, which converted them to a smooth paste. Well, okay, I got bored halfway through and used a stick blender. But it would have worked.

After adding sugar, I cooked and cooked and cooked the bejeebers out of it, until a drop of it on a greased plate stayed solid instead of being runny. I tried a few methods of making tasty bits out of it, but the thing that worked best was putting dollops on a greased jelly roll pan and letting it dry for days in the refrigerator, then folding them over and rolling in sugar, as you see.

They are tasty! Much like a combination of fruit leather and cotlets. They do taste most quick of apricots. I recommend, but only if you have lots of time to burn. Lots... and lots... and lots of time.

And patience. Massive amounts of patience. Or servants! Lots of servants.

So in conclusion, I won't be making this again!

Syrup of Pippins

Remember Sir Kenelm Digby, Knight? Maker of the incomparable Savory Tosted or Melted Cheese, as detailed in his cookbook The closet of Sir Kenelm Digby Knight Opened [1669]? So cool that men wanted him to impregnate their wives?

Well. Another of his rare recipes that is not comprised mainly of booze is his "Syrup of Pippins."



SYRUP OF PIPPINS
Quarter and Core your Pippins; then stamp them in a Mortar, and strain out the Juyce. Let it settle, that the thick dregs may go to the bottom; then pour off the clear; and to have it more clear and pure, filter it through sucking Paper in a glass funnel. To one pound of this take one pound and an half of pure double refined Sugar, and boil it very gently (scarce simpringly, and but a very little while) till you have scummed away all the froth and foulness (which will be but little) and that it be of the consistence of Syrup. If you put two pound of Sugar to one pound of juyce, you must boil it more & stronglier. This will keep longer, but the colour is not so fine. It is of a deeper yellow. If you put but equal parts of juyce and Sugar, you must not boil it, but set it in a Cucurbite in bulliente Balneo, till all the scum be taken away, and the Sugar well dissolved. This will be very pale and pleasant, but will not keep long.

You may make your Syrup with a strong decoction of Apples in water (as when you make gelly of Pippins) when they are green; but when they are old and mellow, the substance of the Apple will dissolve into pap, by boiling in water.


Look I made a swan!

Take three or four spoonfuls of this Syrup in a large draught of fountain water, or small posset-Ale, pro ardore urinæ to cool and smoothen, two or three times a day.


Verdict: So nice! Instead of stamping pippins [apples] in a mortar, straining them, etc., I bought some apple cider. If you wish to try stamping pippins, you may do it with my blessing. The resulting syrup is delicious, and is exactly like apple-flavored honey. Think of the delightful applications! It is delicious on oatmeal and drizzled on fresh fruit. The beverage is really nice too. Sweet, cold, and appley. Yum. Those that drink ale should try this and report.

Savoury Tosted or Melted Cheese

Behold, Sir Kenelm Digby, Knight. He does not hold with Mr. Alcott's views on food, no! About 95% of his recipes are booze or booze-related. But who is this man?

With the waning of Sir Kenelm Digby's philosophic reputation his name has not become obscure. It stands, vaguely perhaps, but permanently, for something versatile and brilliant and romantic. He remains a perpetual type of the hero of romance, the double hero, in the field of action and the realm of the spirit. Had he lived in an earlier age he would now be a mythological personage; and even without the looming exaggeration and glamour of myth he still imposes. The men of to-day seem all of little stature, and less consequence, beside the gigantic creature who made his way with equal address and audacity in courts and councils, laboratories and ladies' bowers.-THE CLOSET OF SIR KENELM DIGBY KNIGHT OPENED [1669, reprinted with foreward in 1910]

Following that is an account of his various dalliances with Spanish and English ladies after he was not allowed to marry his True Love, Venetia, who then became the mistress of a string of men. When he returned, he fought a duel for her honor and married her.

"To read nearly all his Memoirs is to receive the impression that he looked on his wife as a wronged innocent. To read the whole is to feel he knew the truth and took the risk, which was not very great after all; for the lady of the many suitors and several adventures settled down to the mildest domesticity. They say he was jealous; but no one has said she gave him cause. The tale runs that Dorset [her former employer] visited them once a year, and 'only kissed her hand, Sir Kenelm being by.' But Digby was a good lover. All the absurd rhodomontade of his strange Memoirs notwithstanding, there are gleams of rare beauty in the story of his passion, which raise him to the level of the great lovers. His Memoirs were designed to tell "the beginning, progress, and consummation of that excellent love, which only makes me believe that our pilgrimage in this world is not indifferently laid upon all persons for a curse."

"On his tour among Italian courts, one of the grandees said that, 'having no children, he was very willing his wife should bring him a Prince by Sir Kenelme, whom he imagined the just measure of perfection.'"

Oh, Sir Digby! So, other than booze, booze, more booze, and things soaked in booze, what recipes can we find?
SAVOURY TOSTED OR MELTED CHEESE
Cut pieces of quick, fat, rich, well tasted cheese, (as the best of Brye, Cheshire, &c. or sharp thick Cream-Cheese) into a dish of thick beaten melted Butter, that hath served for Sparages or the like, or pease, or other boiled Sallet, or ragout of meat, or gravy of Mutton:

and, if you will, Chop some of the Asparages among it, or slices of Gambon of Bacon, or fresh-collops, or Onions, or Sibboulets, or Anchovis, and set all this to melt upon a Chafing-dish of Coals, and stir all well together, to Incorporate them; and when all is of an equal consistence, strew some gross White-Pepper on it, and eat it with tosts or crusts of White-bread. You may scorch it at the top with a hot Fire-Shovel.



Hello, lover. Purrrrrr


Revised Savoury Tosted or Melted Cheese
I fried up some pieces of bacon, drained off most of the grease, then melted in a half-tablespoon of butter. Then I dropped slices of Monterey Jack in and stirred it around until it was melted.

Verdict:
Bacon grease, crispy bacon, butter, and cheese. Most perfect food ever? Almost, but not quite. The butter didn't melt into the cheese, so too bad there. But other than that... ahhh. Nice. Ron could not finish, he said it was too rich. I generously finished it off. Crispy bacon bits trapped in melted cheese floating in buttery bacon grease. Oh, Sir Kenelm Digby. You naughty thing you.