But!
While poking around another butcher shop recently, I discovered this!
Unlike the first time, it was labelled! They knew what it was without me explaining! It is PRE-GROUND. I was so excited I freaked out the cashier. Especially after she told me they only carry it during the holidays, and I grabbed another sack.
When I got home, I just knew my husband would be as excited as I was. He was so delighted, he stared at me like a startled deer for several minutes before telling me, "I love you and support your hobbies and trust you with the health of my body." He was even more excited when he found out that the slow cooker would be rendering the suet in the garage while he worked on the car brakes, so he could enjoy the aroma.
I tossed both bags in the slow cooker, along with a couple cups of water, the set it on low. About two hours later, it was all melted. Much faster than the first time. And unlike last time, it just smelled vaguely beefy. Not offensive at all.
I poured another couple cups of water in a large bowl for good measure, hoping the gunkies would settle down into the water and leave the fat nice and clean, then strained the hot fat into the bowl.
These are all the gunkies that were strained out.
After cooling, it is nice and white and clean. It slid nicely out of the bowl in a disc because of the water.
Ready for the freezer. This is theoretically self stable, but... ehhhhhh.
In conclusion: this was totally fine and not scary or gross. I revise my opinion about rendering suet being the worst thing ever. So if you want to try it, I suggest you get it from a butcher who knows what it is without you explaining, and get it pre-ground.
For a better overview, please do check out Jas. Townsend & Sons video about suet. It is excellent.
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